Ode to the Word "Fuck".

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word fuck. It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary fucks really well). It can be an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or a noun (Mary is a great fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (The fucking girl wasn't satisfied) or as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary!). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is stupid, fuck she's an idiot). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word fuck - a must in every ESL classroom.

Also, on the level of semantics, it covers quite a variety of meanings. Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings: "How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud: "I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation: "Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble: "I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Aggression: "FUCK YOU!"
6. Authority: "Get the fuck out of here!"
7. Disgust: "Fuck me."
8. Confusion or perplexity: "What the fuck .......?"
9. Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking business!"
10. Despair: "Fucked again ..."
11. Pleasure: "I fucking couldn't be happier."
12. Displeasure: "What the fuck is going on here?"
13. Lost: "Where the fuck are we? - Bum fuck!"
14. Astonishment and disbelief: "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!"
15. Retaliation: "Up your fucking ass!"
16. Denial: "I didn't fucking do it."
17. Being informed: "I know all the fuck about it."
18. Apathy: "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?" / "I don't give a flying fuck"
19. Questioning authority: "Who the fuck are you?"
20. Panic: "Let's get the fuck out of here."
21. Annoyance: "Fuck off." / "Go fuck yourself."
22. Amazement: "How the fuck did you do that?"
23. Skepticism or an offensive response to threat: "Are you fucking with me?"

It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole."

It can be used to tell time - "It's five fucking thirty."

It can be used in business - "How did I end up with this fucking job?"

It can be maternal - "Motherfucker."

It can be political - "Fuck Dan Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:

"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" - General Custer
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic
"That was a real fucking gun!" - John Lennon
"Who's gonna fucking find out?" - Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll." - Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive." - Commander of Space Shuttle "Challenger"
"What fucking map?" - Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" - Michaelangelo
"Fuck a duck." - Walt Disney
"Why?! Because its fucking there!" - Edmund Hilary
"It's a fucking skin condition." - Michael Jackson
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." - John F. Kennedy
"I'll shoot you if you fuck with my gun." - Charlton Heston
"Scattered showers, my fucking ass." - Noah