segunda-feira, 15 de junho de 2009

English is a Crazy Language

Let's look at a number of familiar English words and phrases that turn out to mean the opposite or something very different from what we think they mean:

I could care less. I couldn't care less is the clearer, more accurate version. Why do so many people delete the negative from this statement? Because they are afraid that the n't . . . less combination will make a double negative, which is a no-no.

I really miss not seeing you. Whenever people say this to me, I feel like responding, "All right, I'll leave!" Here speakers throw in a gratuitous negative, not, even though I really miss seeing you is what they want to say.

The movie kept me literally glued to my seat. The chances of our buttocks being literally epoxied to a seat are about as small as the chances of our literally rolling in the aisles while watching a funny movie or literally drowning in tears while watching a sad one. We actually mean The movie kept me figuratively glued to my seat -- but who needs figuratively, anyway?

A non-stop flight. Never get on one of these. You'll never get down.

A near miss. A near miss is, in reality a collision. A close call is actually a near hit.

My idea fell between the cracks. If something fell between the cracks, didn't it land smack on the planks or the concrete? Shouldn't that be my idea fell into the cracks [or between the boards]?

I'll follow you to the ends of the earth. Let the word go out to the four corners of the earth that ever since Columbus we have known that the earth doesn't have any ends.

A hot water heater. Who heats hot water?

A hot cup of coffee. Here again the English language gets us in hot water. Who cares if the cup is hot? Surely we mean a cup of hot coffee.

Doughnut holes. Aren't those little treats really doughnut balls ? The holes are what's left in the original doughnut. (And if a candy cane is shaped like a cane, why isn't a doughnut shaped like a nut?)

I want to have my cake and eat it too. Shouldn't this timeworn clich‚ be I want to eat my cake and have it too? Isn't the logical sequence that one hopes to eat the cake and then still possess it?

A one-night stand. So who's standing? Similarly, to sleep with someone.

The first century B.C. These hundred years occurred much longer ago than people imagined. What we call the first century B.C. was, in fact the last century B.C.

Daylight saving time. Not a single second of daylight is saved by this ploy.

The announcement was made by a nameless official. Just about everyone has a name, even officials. Surely what is meant is The announcement was made by an unnamed official.

Preplan, preboard, preheat, and prerecord. Aren't people who do this simply planning, boarding, heating, and recording? Who needs the pre-tentious prefix?

Put on your shoes and socks. This is an exceedingly difficult maneuver. Most of us put on our socks first, then our shoes.

A hit-and-run play. If you know your baseball, you know that the sequence constitutes a run-and-hit play.

The bus goes back and forth between the terminal and the airport. Again we find mass confusion about the order of events. You have to go forth before you can go back.

I got caught in one of the biggest traffic bottlenecks of the year. The bigger the bottleneck, the more freely the contents of the bottle flow through it. To be true to the metaphor, we should say, I got caught in one of the smallest traffic bottlenecks of the year.

Underwater and Underground. Things that we claim are underwater and underground are obviously surrounded by, not under the water and ground.

I lucked out. To luck out sounds as if you're out of luck. Don't you mean I lucked in?

Because we speakers and writers of English seem to have our heads screwed on backwards, we constantly misperceive our bodies, often saying just the opposite of what we mean:

Watch your head. I keep seeing this sign on low doorways, but I haven't figured out how to follow the instructions. Trying to watch your head is like trying to bite your teeth.

They're head over heels in love. That's nice, but all of us do almost everything head over heels . If we are trying to create an image of people doing cartwheels and somersaults, why don't we say, They're heels over head in love?

Put your best foot forward. Now let's see. . . . We have a good foot and a better foot -- but we don't have a third -- and best -- foot. It's our better foot we want to put forward. This grammar atrocity is akin to May the best team win. Usually there are only two teams in the contest.

Keep a stiff upper lip. When we are disappointed or afraid, which lip do we try to control? The lower lip, of course, is the one we are trying to keep from quivering.

I'm speaking tongue in cheek. So how can anyone understand you?

They do things behind my back. You want they should do things in front of your back?

They did it ass backwards. What's wrong with that? We do everything ass backwards.

Fun & Interesting Facts about Scotland

Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland, apart from being its second largest city.

Glasgow is the largest city in Scotland. Aberdeen and Dundee are amongst the other major cities in the country.

The Kingdom of Scotland was an independent state until 1 May 1707, when the Acts of Union led to a union with the Kingdom of England, resulting in the creation of the United Kingdom of Great Britain.

The main religions of Scotland are Church of Scotland (Presbyterian) Scottish Episcopal Church and Roman Catholicism.

The official currency of Scotland is Pound Sterling.

English (official) and Gaelic are the main languages of Scotland.

The official animal of Scotland is Unicorn.

The motto of Scotland is ‘No one provokes me with impunity’.

Scotland is the second largest country in the United Kingdom of Great Britain.

Though Scotland is a part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain, its legal system is still separate from that of England, Wales, and Northern Ireland

Scotland comprises of approximately 790 islands, out of which around 130 are inhabited.

Edinburgh was the first city in the world to have its own fire-brigade.

Ben Nevis, at 1,343 m, forms the highest point in Scotland. While, the lowest point in the country is Bed of Loch Morar, at 987 ft (300 m) below sea level.

Scottish surnames are divided in two main categories, namely Gaelic names and Germanic names.

The Bank of Scotland, founded in 1695, is the oldest surviving bank in the UK. It was also the first bank in Europe to print its own banknotes

Scotland has its own parliament, which was elected for the first time in 1999. It is responsible for the social work service, education, health services and local government.

Scotland is very well known in the world for its whisky, popularly known as Scotch whisky.

Television, telephone, video cassette recorder, finger printing, home of golf, tarmacadam, tyres are penicillin were all Scottish inventions.

Scotland boasts of over 600 square miles of freshwater lakes, known as lochs, of which the most famous one is Loch Ness.

domingo, 14 de junho de 2009

Lawyer Joke

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. 

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." 

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack." 

History of OK

The word O.K. was firstly used in 1838 by Boston newspaper.

They tried to come up with the way to make the journal more interesting by using acronyms such as I.D.N (I don't know).

The acronym was getting distorted from time to time and one of them is O.W. which stands for All right because the pronunciation is similar to Oll Wright as well as O.K. which stands for All Correct because the pronunciation is similar to Oll Korrect.

However, the O.K. would have been forgotten over time had it not been used in the campaign for U.S. President of Martin Van Buren.

The O.K. Club was established to support Van Buren in the election. This O.K. stands for Old Kinderhook which is his hometown. Even though he lost the election it brought a big popularity to the word O.K.

The popularity of O.K. is widesperad and continue until present.